Six years ago...

Six years ago, I was celebrating Mother’s Day in Silicon Valley with Alesi. She had taken a new role in The Bay Area and we loaded up her Toyota Corolla with all it could hold at the beginning of May and headed west. Duane and I tried our best to bite our tongue and not offer advice when she was offered the role and when she asked what she should do. Duane, being the Sherpa he is, offered the following, “Go, and if you hate it, load up and come home. But give it six months.” As many of you know, she is still in California. Many have asked how we could let her move and our answer is always, how could we not? After all, we had always encouraged her to pursue her dreams. We just never realized that could mean leaving the great state of Texas! This was my first trip to the west coast so of course I wanted to tour all the landmarks. The Bay Area is beautiful with its redwoods, the Pacific Coastline and the weather is fabulous almost year round. After about two weeks, she was settled into her apartment and started her new job. My work there was done and it was time for me to board a plane from SFO bound for Austin. Aside from losing my Daddy, I believe the trip to the airport that beautiful May day six years ago is one of the hardest days I’ve experienced. You see, as the song says, I left my heart in San Francisco. This year, thanks to Covid-19, my “Cali Girl” is spending time here. I’m not sure how long she will be able to stay, but I am doing my best to soak up each moment.

Renaissance Villa Car Parade

Since visitors aren't allowed in nursing homes due to social distancing guidelines, Renaissance Villa staff gathered family and friends earlier today for a car parade. They organized the parade down Dyer Street so family and friends could wave to their loved ones. I haven’t seen my mom in person since we left for Las Vegas in late February. She has her cell phone so she still calls us - usually daily. It was tough to pull up and realize she didn’t know who we were. She stared at us for a few seconds with a blank expression. In typical Faye Davidson fashion, she soon flashed her trademark smile and said she wasn’t expecting to see us today. My nephew was behind us in the parade and brought her Chihuahua, Spanky. Alesi and I knew she had regressed when we heard her say, “Oh, look at the doggie!” She didn’t recognize Spanky or the fact that Will Owen was driving her old car. I knew the day would come when she would struggle to recognize us, but I didn’t expect to feel like I just ran into a brick wall…Jesus take the wheel. “Someone once said when you love someone with Dementia you lose them twice.” Once when they are diagnosed and then when they die. This “Ambiguous Loss” is when they are physically present but not mentally and emotionally as before. They change physically and eventually forget who their loved ones are.” I share this because I want others who are experiencing or may experience the hard truths of Dementia to know they are not alone. Sometimes in life there are situations you cannot fix. Be assured everything is “figureoutable” but that doesn’t always translate to a cure. The reality is some days will be hard. This journey is not an easy one, however I find comfort in knowing she is receiving the best care possible. Just like she took care of us all those years, now is the time for us to take care of her the best we can. Thank you, Renaissance Villa for organizing the car parade so we could interact with her today. What a creative way to get everyone together on a gorgeous May morning. Grateful for the healthcare heroes who take such great care of my Mama and so many others. And most thankful for the amazing, long life she has lived and the lessons she continues to give.

It's May already, y'all!

Can you believe it’s already May? How can a year go by so fast and yet seem to crawl when I look back at the past couple months? I think we all share a level of uncertainty as we move forward. I’ve been hunkered down here at The Ridge since mid-March. I’m not going to lie. Some days have been down right hard. Surely I am not the only person who has had those feelings during this quarantine? Texas reopened today and I want to share a few things just so I don’t forget. Today, the lowest gas price in our area is $1.43 per gallon. Alesi asked me this morning where or what is the first thing I want to do? I did not have an answer. I did check to see if Chuy’s opened their dining area and their name was not on the list for Austin. I probably have never cooked this much at home…ever! I have opted to gather groceries curbside and subscribe to mail order meal kits. It’s been nice to know what we are preparing each day. It has also been nice to see how much Ayrton enjoys cooking. I have another confession to make. Even before this pandemic, I have been a fan of online shopping. There is no way I can hide my addiction from Duane even if I tried. Daily visits from UPS, FedEx or Amazon is the norm around here. Online shopping has filled in the gaps where I wasn’t able to obtain things curbside. I have also learned the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and Alesi gets her online shopping fetish honestly. Despite all the uncertainty this “pandemic” has created, I know for certain the sun will continue to rise each day.

Happy heavenly birthday, Daddy!

Today, I celebrate this guy. This time of year is bittersweet for me. My birthday was just a few days ago which for most people is a highlight of their year. And for years it was because I always celebrated it with my Daddy and Uncle Buck. But 13 years ago, that all changed. Daddy passed away on April 3rd and was buried on April 6th. To be honest, I’ve struggled…a lot. You see, I was and always will be a “Daddy’s girl”. Oh, how I wish Daddy were here today so I could get his thoughts on our current situation. Not a man of many words and a true gentle giant of a man, I can hear him telling me not to worry and have faith of a mustard seed. He would probably go about his daily life as if nothing was going on around him. Plowing the garden with his mules, going to bed with the chickens, but having his cornbread and milk before retiring for the night. To be honest, quite often I stifle the selfishness that rises up when I miss him and wish he were still here. But the reality is, he had slowed down a lot those last few years and wasn’t able to do the things he enjoyed. I was there with him in the hospital when he drew his last breath. He had been improving and was expected to go home the next day, so my brothers decided to let me stay with him. We talked a lot about various things, and he explained how he was tired. Looking back, I think he was preparing me for what was to come just a few hours later. The nurses came in that morning to test his sugar level before breakfast. One minute he was talking to me and as I held his hand, the next thing I knew he was gone. I’m thankful I was there and I’m grateful my children really knew him. One of the biggest lessons we all learned from him was to appreciate the little things. Big Henry didn’t need a pandemic to remind him. He loved watching Wheel of Fortune, time with his family and friends, sippin’ on a senior Diet Coke at McDonald’s, and singing old church hymns. Tonight, I’ll have steak in an iron skillet and some Blue Bell Butter Pecan Ice Cream in his memory. Ride tall, cowboy…we love you always and I am trying my best to carry on your legacy!

What day is it?

What day is it? Must be Friday since Duane isn’t laying next to me. What’s on my agenda today? These are the first thoughts I had this morning when I opened my eyes to begin a new day. We returned from racing The Mint 400 on March 11th. I have only left my gates at The Ridge for basic grocery supplies a few times. Being here has been my normal for about 10 years. You see, once our kids moved off to college and my tenure as a local school trustee ended, I confess…I became a hermit. Aside from sales calls for my business, the occasional dinner with my gal tribe, or traveling to see Alesi, you will find me here - safe inside my gates. When our chickens flew the coop for college was about the time Duane and I started building our new shop. It helped keep me busy and gave us time to adjust to our new normal as “empty nesters”. The more time I spent here, the easier it was to make excuses NOT to leave and I have become a master of having items to cook. Around here, my family calls it “Leif Surprise”. They don’t usually ask what we are having because they already know I’ll pull something together with what I have in the pantry. Where am I going with this? Despite becoming a homebody, I have always been accustomed to coming and going when I got the itch. Especially if Alesi is here for a visit. Our first stop after I pick her up from the airport is most always Chuy’s. I didn’t do that this last time and we are missing it. We would usually spend the day shopping at our favorite spots or pampering ourselves and depending on how early we got started, two visits to Chuy’s was not unusual. One thing is certain, a lot of people are going to look much different when this is all over…including me! Duane has impeccable timing and just summed up my closing with this text, “You are the luckiest girl in the world. I got your chickens home. We both need to realize how good we really have it. So do the chickens!” You are so right Duane. I am thankful we are all here to weather this storm and ride it out together. We will be fine and figure out how to enjoy this current journey we are on. Here’s to future Chuy’s visits with plenty of New Mexican Martini’s, Grandma’s Rocking Rita’s, Creamy Jalapeno dip, Elvis Green Chile Fried Chicken with flour tortillas, Custom Roasted Chicken Enchiladas with Boom-Boom Sauce and Tres Leches for dessert!

Happy Birthday to my father-in-law!

Alles Gute zum Geburtstag, Gunar! Hoffe du hast einen schonen tag! Today is my father-in-law, Gunar’s birthday. A man I have known for well over half my life. My children were the first ones to break him in as Papaw. Through the years, I have seen him at his best and worst. Somehow, I was always available when he was in the hospital for surgery. That’s where the “worst” comes in. We have a unique relationship and he’s taught me so much over the years. Gunar was born and raised in East Germany. He and his family were able to make their way to the US after WWII and lucky for me, they settled in Texas. Maintenance genes run for generations in his family and he carved out a great life working in Texas and Colorado. Around the time Duane and I married, he sold his business in town and began working from home in his shop. Let me think for a moment all the hobbies and pastimes he’s enjoyed. Airplanes (home built, model, and the real thing), race cars (raced the Baja 1000, The Mint 400, Pikes Peak just to name a few), boats (from sailboats to homebuilt with a chainsaw motor), photography and much more. If you were to ask him, I am sure one of the greatest joys he had was running a youth outreach center in our hometown. It took me a while to understand why he dedicated so much time, money and energy to that center. I have read and heard it said that we are a huge reflection of our past. I have heard stories of their time in Germany during the war many times. It finally dawned on me that he was providing a safe place with activities for the youth of the community because growing up as a child during wartime, he lacked that. He may move a little slower, but he still maintains a childlike spirit. Always a smile on his face, a lover of Jesus and all things German, the healing properties of aloe vera and a desire to live until he’s 150 years old. Prost, Gunar!

March winds, April showers

In case any of you don’t know, my mama is a twin. And for those that do know her, you know she is loaded with old wives’ tales and folklore. Over the years, I have heard her quote sayings. One has stuck out this year. March weather…in like a lion, out like a lamb. I am not sure how best to describe March this year! But just so I never forget, I am going to make a list of a few things that occurred in March 2020. Most I never thought I would see in my lifetime. The lowest gas price in my hometown was $1.61 yesterday. When students left the hallways for spring break, they did not know they likely wouldn’t return this semester and classes would move online. Many graduation ceremonies are postponed or cancelled. Social-distancing, self-isolation and shelter in place are our new normal. Curbside pickup and online shopping are the new source for basic household needs. Non-essential stores and businesses mandated closed causing unemployment numbers to spike. Parks and trails locked up, while many cities are on complete lockdown. Entire sports seasons cancelled. As well as concerts, entertainment events, weddings, family celebrations, holiday gatherings – all cancelled. Church services and funerals are taking place online. Panic buying sets in and there is no toilet paper, no disinfecting supplies, no paper towels, no laundry soap and no hand sanitizer - shelves are bare. Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switch their lines to help make visors, masks, hand sanitizer and PPE due to shortages. We learn who are considered “essential” workers because they possess a “letter”. This is the Novel Coronavirus (Covid-19) Pandemic, declared March 11th, 2020. Why do I share this? One day it will show up as a memory. A distant memory of how the world came together to fight an invisible monster. A reminder life is precious, and the little things should never be taken for granted. A reflection of how much we have all changed from going through this.

Happy birthday to me!

“Happy birthday! How does it feel to be 62?” As I mentioned earlier this week, my mama has dementia. She called me yesterday morning to wish me happy birthday and just as I was ready to get excited that she remembered my birthday, she asked the above question. I replied, “Well, thank you, but are you 95?” Where does time go? A question I ask myself often, but a birthday seems to conjure up many more questions. How can I be this old? Am I living my best life? Have I achieved the things I wanted at this point? This year, I asked myself all of the above, but I also pondered if I am being appreciative of the little things. As I’ve mentioned before, I am always in search of the silver lining. The joy in little things and trying my best to handle situations and life by keeping it simple. I had a great day yesterday celebrating my birthday. Of course, I spent it here at The Ridge. Spent a little more time outside, watched some Netflix, enjoyed some home cooking and most of all, I spent time with my core circle…my family…the four of us! Amidst our current situation globally, I am sure everyone is looking at things a little differently. We have all been forced to pivot from our normal schedule and daily lives. Long term schedules and goals seem uncertain. It’s “the now” that has taken center stage. If you are a believer like me, you are holding onto hope and trying to stifle the worry. But I am human, so I do worry. I worry about my business making payroll and paying the bills when my machines aren’t running. I worry about having enough supplies to limit trips to town. (Can I just mention, this whole scenario is what Duane has waited for since Y2K!) I worry about the elderly and immune compromised when folks aren’t taking this pandemic seriously. None of us know what the future holds or have a crystal ball, and guess what? It’s all going to be ok. We’ve made it this far by showing up daily and doing our best. Although our world has been turned upside down, we still have the ability to control how we react. Our hopes and dreams aren’t cancelled. We have just been given an opportunity to reevaluate what’s a priority.

Crazy Chicken Lady

Five years ago, my family gave me chickens for my birthday. That’s right…chickens. I purchased them on Craigslist and had the coop delivered from Amazon. I don’t think any of us realized at the time how much joy they would bring. It wasn’t long before they became more than just egg producers, they also became pets. Our favorite was Henrietta, an Ameraucana that laid green eggs. It’s very relaxing to watch them wander around the yard. I have always been a country gal. Aside from a short stent when Duane and I married we lived in town but always knew we wanted to raise our family in the country. When our kids were toddlers, we began searching for our little slice of heaven on earth that we fondly refer to as “The Ridge”. A name derived from the community our property is located. Over the years we have had our own menagerie of animals, but I think chickens were the favorite for all of us. Country life isn’t always rainbows and unicorns. I awoke one morning to find my chicken tractor was a splintered, obliterated mess. Henrietta was missing, along with the other girls. No trace of them. We believe a bobcat dined on our pets. And I have not been able to bring myself to get more because I am not sure I can keep them safe from predators. When the news began reporting of this virus and word spread that grocery shelves were bare, I considered getting more to provide a daily supply of eggs. Not to mention, a friend has been posting photos and videos daily of her new chicks. But Ayrton heard a bobcat a couple nights ago and Duane saw one on our property last weekend. So, I will take it as a sign I am not to have chickens. At least for now. I look forward to the day when life returns to normal and hope I can ditch this itch for buying more girls. Until then, I will continue to shelter in place and enjoy each day at “The Ridge.” "I began raising chickens primarily for their eggs, but over the years, I've also grown fond of caring for them and learning about their many different breeds and varieties." ~Martha Stewart

Shelter in Place

Shelter in place…our county has now joined several others in Texas as we stand together to slow the spread of Covid-19. Although our lives have shifted from our normal, some things are still a constant. For those that don’t know, my mom moved into a skilled nursing facility that specializes in dementia last fall. She has adjusted well…honestly, we have all adjusted well in making one of the toughest decisions ever…placing your parent in a nursing facility. I’ll save that conversation for another post. A couple weeks ago, all nursing homes closed their doors to outside visitors to protect the residents. I get it, I understand and appreciate isolating our most vulnerable during this global pandemic. Mama has her flip phone and has stayed in daily contact with family and friends since she moved in. Always one to stay on top of local news, it seemed to take a while before mama mentioned the “germ” going around. That’s what she has been calling it most often. Early on, she referred to it as “the weather” and lately it’s been a virus. She’s most worried about me traveling to Austin, so that tells me she is tuned in to the Austin television station. She switched from watching the Temple/Waco broadcast years ago when my kiddos moved to attend @theuniversityoftexas . Not being able to see her is hard, but at least we have a way to stay in touch. Yesterday, was a hard day…for both of us. Sometimes the confusion she is experiencing makes it hard to communicate. Often, the nurses call and ask me to “talk her down” from a situation. It’s easy for me. After all she raised me and we have our own way of communicating. Alesi and Ayrton spent enough time around her that she’s had a huge impact on who they are today and they get our “lingo” as well. Scary..isn’t it? She still makes me laugh at some of her comments. She still makes me cringe at some of her comments. And she is still the most positive, upbeat person I’ve ever known. I hold onto those positive vibes she emits and the many lessons she has taught me. I hope to be half as sassy as she is when I’m 85! 😉💕

Our Edward

To bring a smile to your face this Monday. Let me introduce you to Edward, our youngest Australian Shepherd who “flew in” to live with us in Texas exactly two years ago this month. Our son Ayrton wanted an Aussie with blue eyes. I’m not sure how y’all do things in your world, but in mine I am always looking for “signs” in my daily life for answers from the man upstairs. I opened my Facebook page one Saturday morning in March 2018, and there he was on my friend Alan’s page. I showed Ayrton the last photo in this thread and we began the process of getting Ed to Texas. Let me mention, Alan lives in Iowa! No worries, Alan has shipped pups before and after all, he was my high school valedictorian and is a doctor with a degree from Harvard. Truth is, I was still worried because I had never bought a plane ticket for a dog and didn’t understand all the logistics of shipping an animal...but luckily Alan did. Within a few days, Edward was on a plane from Iowa, with a short stop in Minnesota before landing in Austin. Our kiddos have named a pet or two after movies and Ed gets his from the @lionking hyena. The name fits him perfectly and he’s such a sweet dog. And as you see, he keeps us smiling and laughing at times with his personality and demeanor. As promised, I plan to keep sharing stories from my photo library. I hope for a brief moment, it helps bring a smile or makes one forget about the current state of our lives. “When the world around me is in chaos and I’m searching for the silver lining. Edward puts a smile on my face and brings joy to our life.” ~ Lisa Gerthe

Puzzle Pieces

“We are all beautiful and magical puzzles made up of so many tiny pieces and parts. Without just one of them, something would be missing and we would not be whole. It is all of our parts that make us who we are and make life what it is. Each piece is special and beautiful and necessary. Even those we do not yet understand or that bring up challenges for us and in our life. Every single piece fits perfectly.”~Camille Lucy Here’s hoping your day was relaxing. We tried to pivot from our usual and began working on a puzzle of Yosemite. I haven’t experienced its splendor in person...yet. @alesi12 sent me the attached photo last year when she visited Yosemite in the spring. What a difference a year can make. How did you spend your day?

This morning, I asked Duane if the things happening in our world is just a dream and are we in an episode of “The Twilight Zone”? In true D fashion, he used a few expletives as he replied, “no, it’s real”! Duane has been my rock for well over three decades. Through thick and thin, good and bad, he’s always promised to be honest and real with me about everything. And above all has always provided and protected me and our children with all his being and as Christ as the head of our home and family. We’ve always operated and tackled situations as a team and this current situation is no different, with Duane gathering us together at “The Ridge” to devise a plan so he can do what he does best...maintain and fix things to the best of his ability. I tend to approach things with a lighter hearted spirit to break up the seriousness of a situation. So, I am going to start sharing random photos from my travels. A peek into past experiences and a look forward to making more memories when we come out the other side of this pandemic. This monster has now arrived in our own backyard with one case in our county. “Sometimes there is nothing you can do but let it rain and wait for the sunshine.” And if we are lucky, maybe a rainbow will appear. Look for the joy, stay home if you can and know we are all in this together.

One week can bring change.

One week. One week can bring so many changes. Although I love to travel, I am always glad to be safe inside the gates of “The Ridge”. We were away for 11 days. In ways it flew by and in some ways it felt like forever to get back home. Seeing the Grand Canyon has been on my “bucket list” for some time. And taking the train was the cherry on top. While there, I sat on the rock wall and used the time to reflect on the beauty of Gods creation and life in general. Little did I know this week would bring many other thoughts across my mind as we deal with a world that is changing before our eyes. This past week we have slowed down a bit, enjoyed time with family, cooked at home more, and I have talked to friends instead of texting. Today, my “silver lining” is treasuring “the climb” and being grateful for another beautiful day at “The Ridge”.

How are you navigating Covid-19?

As I sit here, isolating myself as much as possible to not “share” anything with the elderly or immune compromised, I wonder...why is this happening NOW in our world? I am trying to stay positive and look for the “silver lining”. I am also aware that in times of chaos, you learn a lot about people. You see their true colors. The self centered, the compassionate, the givers and takers. In times of uncertainty and fear, I choose faith and hope. Faith we will all stand together and hope we’ll emerge stronger than before. How are you navigating these waters?

"It's just a minor setback!"

Each day we have a choice to have a positive attitude and make the most of each opportunity presented to us. Today, my husband called a man he’s known since his childhood to check on him and to give an update on what we have going on. His friend let him know he had suffered a stroke recently that has left him with some “balance” issues and the doctors said he will not be the same. Instead of being negative about the situation, this was his response...”it’s just a minor setback”!

“If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, then you are an excellent leader.” ~ Dolly Parton